Be a Real Man
What does it mean to “be a man”? Is it about physical or mental strength that one can use to dominate another? Is it about proving your worth over and over? The world sends us mixed messages: a real man doesn’t cry, a real man feels no pain, a real man uses his strength to crush a weaker foe. The truth is, a real man lives a life of honesty and knows his weaknesses.
To begin, let’s examine some of the fallacies.
First, a real man doesn’t cry. Really? So when we lose a loved one, experience overwhelming joy or even watch a touching movie, we should remain stone-‐faced? Of course not. We have feelings, just like everyone else. While we may not cry as much as others, crying is healthy and a part of life. Real men know emotionknow this and are confident enough to display it.
Second, a real man feels no pain? Or perhaps, a real main shows no pain? Either way, it’s nonsense. From the time we are boys, we are told to suck it up, brush it off, rub some dirt on it. Sometimes that’s sound advice. Sometimes however, ignoring pain can lead to much bigger problems. Avoiding the doctor while trying to “tough it out” might allow a little problem to grow into a much more serious issue. Neglecting a relationship can also lead to a sliding scale of agony: break-‐ups, separation or even divorce. Real men know how to assess pain, whether it’s physical or emotional and are not afraid to address it.
Third, a real man uses his strength to crush a weaker foe? On the surface that doesn’t sound so bad, right? Only, there is no real glory in crushing an opponent that’s weaker. The real victory is realized after beating someone who’s stronger. And even then, because they happen to be better, stronger, faster, etc., it’s fair to question their achievement. Did they reach their goal by honest means? Many times, our celebrity role models turn out to be cheaters and con artists. They achieve their success artificially. Steroids, stepping on another on the way up the ladder, falsifying records, taking undue credit for someone else’s work. Where’s the victory in that? A real man gives his best effort, celebrates honest success and tips his cap when he’s beaten. He helps the weak; he isn’t bent on defeating them. Being a real man means being confident enough in your own ability to set the right example, to help those less capable than you, to stand up for others when no one else will.
Finally, let’s dispel this last man myth once and for all: a real man looks out for number 1, takes everything he can from life. As the saying goes, the one who dies with the most toys wins, right? This self-‐centered view can be destructive. The truth is, a real man thinks of others first, not himself. He’s not preoccupied with taking. He’s focused on giving, donating his time to causes he deems worthy. He spends his energy on things that display kindness and generosity. And yes, even the little things, like giving up his seat and opening a door for a woman are actions performed by real men. While some might see this as “old fashioned”, a real man sees it as appropriate, respectful and necessary. Life is more about giving than taking. As you grow, I’m so proud to watch you become a man. The trials and difficulties you will face only make you stronger. Today, be what you are meant to be -‐ a man of strength, character and principle. Be a real man. Love dad
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