Don’t hold back
Do emotional displays show weakness, as some think, or strength? And what’s up with these odd displays of joy and sorrow? Why do we laugh in the first place? Why cry? Do tears help or hurt? And what does this behavior say about us?
The truth is, there are more to both of these emotional displays than meets the eye. God designed us in a wonderful way – to express joy, suffering and celebration. And it’s actually good for us.
Let’s start with laughter. These odd, short, sometimes unpredictable vocal displays are more than simply an expression of humor. Laughter is actually a language all its own. It’s infectious. Ever wonder why, when you see or hear someone laugh, you want to join in? It’s your brain seeking joy; it’s a primordial need. When we laugh with others, we bond with them. It helps increase joy and intimacy. And there are actual health benefits beyond the psychological ones. Studies have shown that laughter reduces the level of stress hormones, like cortisol, in your body. It lowers blood pressure. Laughter releases endorphins that help relieve pain and, same as when you finish a good workout, make you feel good all over. A good laugh can be a great workout! We’ve all had those laughing fits where our abs cramp and our lungs can barely keep up. What a great way to get your cardio in! In addition, laughter actually helps your immune system by boosting your T-‐cells. Amazing! So what’s the downside to laughter? There really isn’t one (except when you laugh at inappropriate times – sometimes we can’t help it!)
It’s cool to think: everybody has their own unique laugh. It’s our very own signature and sign to the world that we are enjoying the moment. Laughter displays a strength and confidence to the rest of the world. We laugh in the face of adversity; we laugh in spite of ourselves; we are unafraid to laugh! When you laugh in the midst of a crisis, you’re either showing bold leadership or you’re crazy (you’re not crazy). Laughter can also break up a tense situation. It’s hard not to laugh ourselves. We all want in! Laughing is fun, so have fun with it!
What about crying? From a social standpoint, crying shows vulnerability and asks others for help in the way of sympathy. There is real courage in crying. The health benefits don’t stop there, though. Much like laughter, studies have shown that crying actually lowers those same stress hormones, namely, cortisol. Tears help flush out these toxins. Psychologically, crying turns our anxiety or sadness into something physical. These outbursts help us get rid of baggage and find resolution. When we shed tears, we actually are ridding ourselves of trauma and stress.
Why do we feel better after we cry? In addition to the chemical release, we are bringing pain to the surface and dealing with it. 88% of people say they feel better after crying. On average women cry 47 times a year, men just 7 times. And don’t forget, crying isn’t just for sadness! We cry when we are overwhelmed with joy as well! And this may surprise you: I’m somewhat of a crier. My eyes “sweat a lot” at the end of movies, especially the ones that remind me of you! And I usually watch the ones I love (and make me cry) over and over. I’m OK with that.
So today, if you need to display emotion, don’t hold back. Don’t think you’re different just because you want to laugh or need to cry. You are bold, beautiful and have a right as a person to get it out. The more we hold back, the more we are not really being ourselves. And that’s not good for anybody! I promise you, I plan on laughing and crying a lot more before I’m done, as I empathize and celebrate your incredible journey. I’m so proud of you! Have a great day! Love dad
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